The devastating power of this swamp is that if you let the sadness around you take hold you will begin to sink into the swamp & it will overpower you. Artax begins to sink in & as much as Atreyu urges his horse to keep moving, to pull himself out, Artax has let the sadness take away his will to keep moving. What's the point? *sink into the mud* Why bother? *sink further* “Fight against the Sadness, Artax. Please, you’re letting the Sadness of the Swamps get to you. You have to try. You have to care. For me. You’re my friend. I love you.”
Some of that I believe has to do with the other things I let influence my life, certain struggles that feed into my attitude, a lack of scripture taking a prominent role in my priorities, and just not seeking accountability. It's a strange duality of myself wanting to care, but not being able to. Recognizing that I should, but being stuck in a rut (or the mud for this analogy). It's a strange back and forth, but as absurd as it feels it has a serious impact on how I treat other sins in my life, what time I take to spend alone with God, and how I worship. I even feel like at times I'm saying stuff to encourage others that while I know in my heart I believe it, cannot feel the emotions behind it. It kinda sucks.
It truly is a great struggle, but I call it a struggle, because I know it is worth struggling with. I may not be free of it yet, but like Atreyu I won't give up on Artax.
Thank you for letting me share with you, and I'll keep you updated as this neverending story continues.